The Grim Reaper
Bedtime Stories
No. 30 in a never-ending series. Spring 2001
It has always been a mystery to me why so many innocent pedestrians and cyclists are mown down by motorists. After all, cars are equipped with the latest gadgets to enable their drivers to prevent murder and mayhem on the roads. Speedometers tell them when they are exceeding the speed limit and should slow down. ABS braking systems allow them to stop on a sixpence, and power steering permits them to safely avoid irritating obstacles (such as humans) which would otherwise slow them down. I accept that a proportion of older drivers have mild visual impairment, or suffer from early onset dementia, but the accident figures suggest that you are least likely to be killed by very old motorists.
So what is causing fit young drivers to lose control of themselves and plough into walls, buildings, lampposts, other cars, bicycles, children and other pedestrians. And we are not just talking about the occasional accident. With approximately a quarter of a million serious injury accidents each year plus at least four times as many non-injury accidents, we're talking big numbers here.
As usual the Grim Reaper has the answer to this dilemma. A recent survey by the RAC confirmed what yours truly had known already from my years of research. A third of long-distance drivers catch up on their sleep when they're at the wheel. These are professional drivers - people who drive at least 20,000 miles a year, such as lorry drivers, bus drivers, taxi drivers, travelling salesmen, and businessmen in their company cars. They have very tiring lives, spending hours in their vehicles to ensure that the life-blood of the economy continues to flow. It's perfectly reasonable and only to be expected that they might wish to nap whilst they are driving a tanker load of petrol, a coach load of passengers, or a consignment of flat and tacky furniture to Ikea. And in case you nodded off whilst reading that, I'll repeat it. One third of long-distance drivers admit to nodding off at the wheel.
In total, four million motorists go to sleep each year whilst they are driving. And 6% of motorists find it so restful in their vehicles away from family pressures, that they have dozed off at least ten times on the road.
There are various answers to this problem. Sharia law could be introduced. Anyone causing injury or worse by falling asleep could have a part of their body lopped off. The worst penalty for a driver would, I suspect, be to lose their hands. I imagine however that it might be hard to get such a measure through a New Labour government, though I am sure Jack Straw would favour public flogging.
Now I do know that some of my dear readers, devoted as they are, will think that I have overstepped the mark of acceptable tastelessness. Before anyone writes in to complain, let me admit that Sharia law could not be a serious solution to what is a very serious problem. Re-offending rates for drink-driving are high, and the statistics indicate that the same is the case for sleeping drivers. There would be nothing to stop someone who had had his hands amputated buying an adapted car and re-offending.
There is only one solution to this traffic problem, and as usual we have much to learn from abroad. China is a country for which I have much admiration. Home to the Flying Pigeon bicycle and cheap Xmas crackers, cycling still remains the main means of transport for the masses. The Chinese can teach us a thing or two when it comes to dealing with errant motorists. They have decided to take a rough line against motorists who kill by dangerous driving or catching up on their sleep whilst at the wheel. Authorities in the Western province of Xianjiang executed a bus driver who hit and killed two pedestrians while driving at night with his lights switchd off. Now that should reduce the risk of re-offending.
I'm off to bed.
Grim Reaper
